O' SUNSET KING

Recent reports show that George W. Bush is pleased with the outcome of his Middle Eastern adventures. Although widely criticized for his wanton plundering of fair Mesopotamia, this is not time he has taken to lament the losses of the past. As many rulers have, he has decided to construct a sort of leadership fantasy to occupy his mind as he departs the White House. Bush has decided, in the twilight years of his rule, to focus instead on his legacy, and the tales that will adorn the halls of his presidential library. For, as all close followers of U.S. Politics know-- that is where he will be mummified and buried so that he may rule America in the afterlife.

After a long and mighty rule-- some argue he was the most powerful Pharaoh we've ever had-- he will take his place in his towering tomb alongside a smaller chamber for his wife, the lovely Laura of Evangelicals, and a tinier one yet for court companion Barney.

And yet, as all conquering heroes, the end of a mighty rule marks the beginning of the glorious journey that is death. Soon following the end of his rule, Bush will find himself sitting anxiously within his tomb. Death can be a long and draining process where one might become lost, so the frescas adorning the walls of his pyramid will remind him of his identity and his purpose. He has surrounded himself with a lifetime more a heroic fantasy than reality, a propserous nation, loving subjects, and a mighty Babylonian King bowing to his feet as he is put to death. A safe nation, a nation of plenty, a good land. As Bush sits in his tomb alone, enjoying the treasures and sweetmeats left for him by the then living shadow of his eternal being, he regains the power of speech and movement. His adeptly preserved body provides him a vessel while his masterful tomb provides only reflection over a rule marked by both loyalty and fear. He spends eons sitting placidly in the chanting chamber, pondering the complex mobius strips of circular logic as the beautiful fantasy hymn of Reaganomics resonates from the freshly opened mouth of his Ka (or "life force" for Beltway outsiders) and off the acoustic walls.

(In this scene, Bush's brain is weighed against a feather. We see Bush standing next to Ra as Reagan awaits his arrival on the right side of the image. The devourer stands ever ready.)

This peaceful meditation is broken as he travels across the sea of fire to be tested by Thoth before the eyes of the Lord Reagan, who is often portrayed as shale green figure in the garnments of a Pharaoh, holding a hook and flail to represent the divine executive authority that can only be wielded by an actor. Bush's brain is then weighed against a delicate feather, to test his zealous adherence to Evangelical Christianity. Thankfully, he passes the test, with the feather coming in at a whopping 2-3 times the mass and content of Bush's mind. Thoth gives the thumbs up and the frightening Devourer (a sort of amalgamated combination of alligator, hippopotamus, lion, and welfare mother) skulks away in despair. Like any good neoconservative figure head, he is innocent for the plausable deniability of his undeniable uselessness as a leader.

It is with this and his many trials that our passing God-King Bush will pass through the many tribulations of the dead only to find himself standing yet as King, for now and eternity, ruling over his loyal slaves of the Religious Right. He shall stand triumphant looking over them, as they till the endless and fruitful Oil Fields of Yalu, their devotion to his rule rewarded by a narrow, but appropriate trickling down of wealth from Bush's eternal treasures to the pockets of the many.